(Warning: This is a long post. Feel free to skim.)

For me, this is a touch nut to crack. I can’t claim to have widely travelled the seven emirates; in fact I’ve not been to most of them, so feel free to read this with a generous pinch of ignoramous-flavoured salt. Save for Abu Dhabi and Dubai, the places that I did visit were basically a lot of sand with the occassional low-rise Arabic town, with the odd skyscraper jutting awkwardly into the skyline. I’ll focus more on Dubai and Abu Dhabi, that’s where I’ve spent the majority of my time — although, I certainly wouldn’t claim to be an expert in either; and that’s probably where my struggles begin.

I liken Dubai and, to a lesser extent, Abu Dhabi to American City v2.0. Except–importantly–without the freedoms brought by democracy and free market competition. For after all, the UAE and every emirate therein is essentially a dictatorship and it has become increasing apparent to me that the government controls almost everything. As a non-Emirati (the indiginous folk) it’s difficult to set up a stable and somewhat permanent life here: one’s residency permit is linked to one’s employer. An expat cannot freely purchase freehold property* and so must rent instead. This shouldn’t be too much of a problem, you think, save for the fact that the government carefully controls the supply of rental stock and so rents are kept artificially high. How high? Try 30,000Dhs (over £4,700) a month for a two bed apartment in a reasonable part of Dubai, at time of writing. You may think that I’m making this up. I’m not; I met a couple who just moved there and explained their bemusement. Consequently, “normal folk” have little option other than to flat-share with another expat who got here a few years ago and got their rent-capped.

As a further example of government control take Etisalat, the government’s own telecoms operator and communications monopoly. Another operator has been recently introduced to shake things up a bit. Competition is good, right? Except the new operator is owned by the government too. Thought you’d use Skype to circuvent the traditional networks? Denied; the software has been blocked and banned. (Techy note: In fairness to the government, this is quite an impressive feat as the Skype developers went to extreme lengths to scramble their technology.) Furthermore, several common Websites are blocked, and no Mum, more than just the ones showing “blue movies” that you tell me about from the Daily Mail…

Petrol is cheap as chips. Although, in Abu Dhabi for instance, the only petrol stations I’ve seen are branded “ADNOC”; another government-owned monopoly. Because the cost of motoring is so low, people drive the most enormous gas-guzzling cars (trucks?). It makes me wonder whether there’s any point in us young British taking our carbon reduction responsibilities so seriously. Worse, every office in the government owned sovereign investment fund skyscraper is left completely illuminated at night, even though nobody’s in the building. The government is rightly proud of their building, but surely there’s a more carbon-sensitive way to show it off at night?

For cities of this scale and thus anonymity, crime is really, really low. Unlike in Africa, where as an obvious tourist I felt uncomfortable walking around at night, I feel that I could safely walk anywhere in Abu Dhabi at any time, with my camera hanging around my neck, my guidebook in one hand, and shouting “I’m a lost tourist” into my mobile phone in the other.

I’ve met some really great people too: Emirati’s and expats alike (both Western and Southern Asian). People smile, wave and help where they can. There are a lot of people from India here. After all, they constructed these cities. India’s a big country and so I’m sure nobody there noticed the emmigration. What really startled us was the massive Filipino population here, apparently all working in the service sector. Claire wonders whether there’s anyone left in the Phillipines.

Shopping is an obsession. On the surface of it, without real money (read: a yacht), there’s very little else to do in town; especially for four months of the year when the heat and humidity is brutal. Clothes and jewellery are the most commonplace outlets in the malls. It reminds some hard-working City folk in London: “I work really hard and use my earnings to buy this flashy work suit as a reward. I’ve got my eyes on another one. I’ll buy that next month when I get my next paycheck…”

If you’re a expat worker, chances are that your take-home pay will be much better compared with the same job at home. That goes for professional office workers pulling between £2,500 – £8,000 per month and Indian labourers taking home £70 — and remember that’s tax-free. Companies are legally allowed to pay staff of different nationalities different salaries, even though they’re fulfilling the same role. Job adverts routinely suggest which nationalites they are looking to hire. It appears that the term “Equal Opportunities Employer” hasn’t been embraced just yet. The little white lie that nobody mentions until you’ve signed-up is that living well here does not come cheap. I gather that it used to, but those days are fading fast. You already know about the exhorbitant rents. How about a beer? With a few exceptions, you must go to a hotel. And they’re nearly all five star, with prices to match. (Time Out magazine rightly indicates that allowing Westerners to drink alcohol is not a right, but a gift from the state.)

You’ll know that I’m writing this piece from a jobless, moneyless backpacker’s point-of-view. As a holiday destination, and with disposible cash, it’s great. There are plenty of people that come over for a week and have a wail of a time, five-starring it all the way: dining out in luxury, shopping for fancy clothes and lazing around on the private beaches in little bikinis without the need to worry about covering your shoulders and knees (just don’t swim in the sea, ok?).

Don’t misunderstand me. I am a capitalist through and through** and, on the surface of things, the UAE appears to be evolving towards something approaching capitalism. If you want to live and work in the UAE, then go ahead — you’ll quite probably love it. If I’m being totally honest, I can’t say that I’ve ruled out the prospect myself. Just go in with your eyes open and be clear about why people here: to make fast money. I’ve not met any retired expats here, they surely couldn’t afford it. Neither have I met anyone who envisions themselves staying long-term: “I’m staying for two-to-three years [to bring in the money]”. Life is now so expensive here that I’m beginning to hear stories of people leaving Dubai in more debt than they came with. Don’t be surprised therefore, if after you’ve given all that you can give and taken all that you can take, you end-up being shown the door. For in the UAE, an expat will only ever be a king-maker, and never a king.

As you can see, I’m torn on this subject, but overall I have definitely enjoyed my month in the country. What I do know is this: fifty years ago, the UAE was all but desert and now they have the biggest sandcastles in the world. Whichever way you feel about the place, that’s impressive.

* I’m bound to get a bunch of flames correcting me on this: “It is possible to buy freehold property in certain [government-designated] areas of Dubai and Abu Dhabi” (if you can get your hands on it, in the case of the latter). I’d be really interested to read the small print here: freehold in Britain refers to the ownership of the land on which the property sits (albeit, The Queen ultimately owns all the land underneath that). Hence why leaseholders of property usually pay so-called “ground rent”. There are very few single-dwelling units (“houses”, to some) in these new cities and so the problem becomes “how do I own the freehold to the land on which my 18th floor apartment sits, when there are 17 other apartments directly below me [and four above]?”. I kid you not, I have seen a Dubai newspaper advert offering a freehold apartment on a 99-year lease. Naturally, the size of the wording “freehold” was several times larger than that which indicated the length of the lease, lost somewhere in the small print.

** It could be argued that true communism is probably a better system than capitalism, but it never has and never will exist in our world because there’s always a human at the top. We humans are greedy folk and if there’s a handful of people at the top keeping the wealth to themselves, then that ain’t true communism is it?