We want to come home. It’s too hot and we just had our first scary spider moment. As we were getting ready for bed, I came across this hairy monster clinging to the wall next to my side of the bed.

Squiffy flipped out and passed me her flip-flip with which to pick a fight with this thing. After pep-talking myself for a wee while I took a swing and the fast thing broke into a sprint. Two more missed-swings and it had scampered downstairs, to hide under our ladder. I chased it downstairs and then lost my bottle. Squiffy, not-quite hysteric, implored me to do something and a debate over who should do what ensued, with nothing in particular being done. I realised that this spider was likely to be a Huntsman: big, scary-looking and able to defend with a bite, albeit a not-lethal one. Still, if looks could kill, I wouldn’t be here typing this now.

Eventually, and after further self pep-talking, the spider met the end of the garden broom and then received a complimentary whack with the sole of Squiffy’s shoe (the treads are too deep in my shoes, it might have survived) and was then unceremoniously flicked into the garden by means of a dustpan and brush. I had a cold shudder (and in recalling this episode, just got another one).

Lately, Squiffy has channelled her energies into researching and scaring herself silly at all of the deadly spiders indigenous to this part of the world — including learning how Huntsmen spiders commonly hide under car sun visors and fall on your lap as you reach for the shade whilst driving. It goes without saying that we now have a policy of leaving the visor down and inspecting the cockpit for spiders before turning the ignition key. Worryingly, it was only yesterday that I brushed off a few cobwebs from under the bonnet…

Oh and she’s fashioned a new portable spider-catching device to assist in any future arachnidic incidents. Wish us luck with that one!