We arrived bleary-eyed in Fez at 5.30am and were advised to shelter in the bus station until daylight. This felt a bit weird as usually at the end of a long journey one doesn’t have to sit in a waiting room again!

Once morning had broken, we scooted-off to find the youth hostel. We weren’t able to book a bed online previously. Nor would the hostel take a reservation over the phone. Rather, the staff advised us to show-up on the day. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Bonjour. Do you have any beds available tonight please?
Staff: I don’t know. You’ll have to come back at 10am. After checkout.
Me: Oh, erm, ok.
(Two hours later)
Me: Bonjour. We came earlier and you asked us to return at 10am to find out whether you have any beds tonight.
Staff: No. We’re full. All beds are reserved.
Me: Oh dear. Oh well. Hold on. We were told that we couldn’t reserve a bed here.
Staff: You can’t, no.
Me: So would you help me understand how are all the beds reserved?
Staff: Group booking. No beds today.
Me: Ok, we’ll find somewhere else today. Now what about tomorrow?
Staff: You have to come back tomorrow.

So we found a nearby hotel–at three times the price–and returned to the youth hostel a day later to retry our luck. This time we were greeted by a lady, so I let Squiffy do the girl-to-girl thing:

Squiffy: Bonjour. Do you have any beds available tonight please?
Staff: No. We’re full. All beds are reserved.
Squiffy: Group booking?
Staff: Yes. You have to come back tomorrow.
Squiffy: Could you let us know how long the group are here for please?
Staff: You have to book on Internet.
Squiffy: We tried, but you wouldn’t take reservations on the Internet. Can you tell us when the group are leaving?
Staff: It’s in the diary. (Points to diary, four inches from fingertip.) (Now shouting) I’M NOT LOOKING IN THE DIARY. YOU MUST LOOK ON INTERNET.
Squiffy: Why won’t you look in the diary? I don’t understand.
Staff: I’M NOT LOOKING IN DIARY! YOU MUST LOOK ON INTERNET!
Squiffy: (Points to computer, six inches from fingertip.) Could we use your computer? Could you show us where we must look please?
Staff: YOU WILL NOT USE MY COMPUTER AND I WILL NOT LOOK AT THE DIARY! WE ARE FULL AND YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME!

I asked Squiffy’s permission to shout back at the hostel, but my request was declined on the grounds that we might come back the following day. We retreated scratching our heads, attempting to understand what had caused this women to flare-up without provocation.